May 31, 2005
Forensic science has evolved to the point where police can now clear up many, many cases that in the past would have gone unsolved
You know you picked the right guy to go to the prom with when...
He picks you up in a special vehicle, so you can make a grand entrance.
(Contributed by Allen Whitman)
(Contributed by Allen Whitman)
May 30, 2005
Crime report from Normal, Illinois
Want to go someplace for a drink?
Sure. How about a retro-future environment whose interactive multilayered visual prosthetics have been noted by a number of techno-sociologists?
May 29, 2005
For generations, guys spent Memorial Day mowing the lawn and fantasizing about being an Indy 500 driver
Then inspiration struck, and the rest, as they say, is history.
May 28, 2005
U.S. terror alert level raised to yellow or orange or whatever the hell the next highest color is
It appears a Middle Eastern element has penetrated our defenses and is wreaking havoc in Middle America.
We perfectly understand those folks who wear tin-foil hats to prevent alien abduction or stop the CIA from reading their pet's mind
These people, on the other hand, are completely nuts.
May 27, 2005
If you're the kind of person who just loves watching paint dry...
Most Americans will readily concede that Europeans have a more developed design sense than they do
But that's because they haven't seen this.
May 26, 2005
If you've always wanted to pay a visit to the southeast Victoria area...
...now is definitely not the time.
We might not know much about art...
...but then, neither does the British Museum.
May 25, 2005
What do The New York Times, Dan Rather, and Newsweek all have in common?
All of them are currently working on major, groundbreaking special reports about this.
SWF, 17, alienated, pretentious; interested in death, punk rock, black lipstick; seeking soulmate for fun times or to blow up school
May 24, 2005
Here's an exciting idea: Suppose webcams and streaming video could allow ordinary people to watch cutting-edge scientific experiments as they happen
Actually, it's more than an idea. It's a reality.
This month's Harrison Report Distinguished Public Service Award goes to Kansas City metro bus dispatcher Ray Johnson
...for bringing to light a common, recurrent problem affecting the area's public transit system.
May 23, 2005
Wondering what there is to do for excitement in Inverness, Florida?
Well, we suppose you could always do this...
Some feminists have criticized hip-hop and rap lyrics as promoting a negative stereotype regarding the role of women
On the other hand, everyone can agree that the lyrics are very useful for teaching proper English grammar and usage.
May 22, 2005
D.H. Lawrence, James Joyce, and Henry Miller were great artists whose work was at one time banned on the grounds of indecency
A fact which, as far as we can tell, is not related in any way whatsoever to this.
May 21, 2005
Seasoned business travelers eventually come to learn the telltale signs that a motel, restaurant or other business should be avoided
Many people believe the European Union will never realize its promise, simply because it's impossible to get so many countries to agree on anything
May 20, 2005
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale...
Many states are still struggling to implement the federal 'No Child Left Behind' policies
In New Hampshire, however, they're implementing a No Child Allowed to Get Ahead policy.
May 19, 2005
Thirty years ago, people who lobbied the legislature on behalf of environmental causes were considered a wacky fringe element
Today, that's all changed...sort of.
Today's topic: Which was the best 'Star Wars' movie?
May 18, 2005
Westerners traveling in Japan will find that the Japanese are always ready with helpful advice
Are you tired of all those frivolous lawsuits seeking huge amounts of money for outrageous claims?
Well, neither are we. Here's another good one.
May 17, 2005
The U.S. Congress has done absolutely nothing this year about health care, Social Security, or homeland defense
On the other hand, at least they're taking action on this issue.
According to FBI statistics, crime rates in the U.S. have declined for the sixth straight year
...which means that the police in many communities just don't have enough to do.
May 16, 2005
After four or five beers, most guys will start to find almost any woman fairly attractive
However, we're still not sure that's enough to explain this.
With federal indictments lodged against their top officials, Tyco, Enron and WorldCom are looking for fresh new leadership
...and we have the perfect candidate.
May 15, 2005
Today, we have more information about nutrition available than at any time in history
In fact, we might have a little too much information.
May 14, 2005
The population of many European countries is expected to decline in the next 50 years, but population growth rates in India are still skyrocketing
And this might have something to do with it.
Want to know how to keep a stoned backpacker busy for hours?
May 13, 2005
Perhaps it's never occurred to you to wonder why it would be a bad idea if the rolls of toilet paper in your house were the size of a car
However, just in case it did, here's the answer.
The Internet's great promise is that it will provide 24/7 access to entertainment options that people could enjoy before only in limited quantities
And that promise has now been fulfilled.
May 12, 2005
Many Dutch citizens would like to update the country's quaint image as a land of tulips, windmills and wooden shoes
Perhaps this will help paint a different picture in people's minds.
Some people say environmental laws are so strict, they're resulting in criminal charges against people to whom they were never meant to apply
And after reading this, we think they might have a point.
May 11, 2005
Some scientists spend their entire lives studying things that most ordinary people never even think about
What would you do if you won $124.7 million in the lottery?
We don't know about you, but we'd run right out and buy a recreational vehicle and a cow.
May 10, 2005
The confirmation hearings for the next Supreme Court Justice are expected to be very contentious
Why? Because increasingly, the judiciary is being called on to resolve hot-button social issues.
You might be wondering why, for the most part, Swedish dance bands have never caught on outside the European Union
We think it might have something to do with their fashion sense.
May 09, 2005
Tony Blair has won an unprecedented third straight term as Labour Prime Minister
But it's not clear whether this represents the British people's support for his policies, or the failure of the competition to nominate a credible enough candidate.
Oh sure, you remember Alvin and the Chipmunks
...but do you know the real story?
May 08, 2005
As a frontrunner in the 2008 presidential election, she brings popularity, high name recognition, fundraising ability and a reputation for hard work
Nevertheless, the controversies that have dogged her in the past could make her a polarizing figure.
May 07, 2005
Did you know that the Statue of Liberty's nose is four and a half feet long?
However, she's got nothing on this babe.
A generation ago, university campuses were riven by controversy over the Vietnam War
Today, though, there are other issues.
May 06, 2005
You really can find TV programs that are entertaining, uplifting, and full of redeeming social value
...just not on the Oxygen Network.
If our society is going to encourage use of public transportation systems such as subways, it's essential to make them more appealing to customers
May 05, 2005
The Harrison Report is very much in favor of experimental medicine
...as long as it's not this experimental.
Police officers are there to help you
For instance, suppose you're having difficulty committing suicide by jumping off a bridge...
May 04, 2005
Truly great original writing can offend readers' sensibilities, because it doesn't fit the traditional paradigm of what 'good' fiction sounds like
Interestingly, the same can also be said of truly terrible writing.
On May 5, or Cinco de Mayo, we celebrate the Mexican Army's 1862 victory at the Battle of Puebla
And the day before, on May 4, of course, we celebrate this.
May 03, 2005
We strongly believe in making every effort to understand other cultures
But we have a feeling this one could take a little longer than usual.
It's absolutely amazing what some people are able to accomplish before their 18th birthday
May 02, 2005
No, you weren't dreaming
There really was some very weird stuff going on at the health club last week.
It's not enough to have a great business and a great location...you also have to have a great name
May 01, 2005
Looking for a fun entertainer for your child's next birthday party?
The Girl Scout organization allows young women to acquire important skills and experiences that will help them in later life
