September 30, 2005
It can be extremely dangerous to pick up a hitchhiker
For instance, something like this could happen.
Even if you have an advanced degree, you still have to attend continuing education classes to keep up with developments in your field
September 29, 2005
Many people know that Interpol is a major international law enforcement agency, but they don't completely understand what its focus is
And they might be surprised to find out.
Is there anything more disgusting than a hot-dog eating contest, where people try to consume as many hot dogs as possible in a short period of time?
Well, since you asked, yes there is.
September 28, 2005
We strongly believe that politicians should keep their promises
But in this case, we'd be willing to make an exception.
We'd love to be able to pull off a prank that was this creative
If only we had the, um, you know.
September 27, 2005
Here's our suggestion for the next Supreme Court nominee
We recommend naming someone who throws wild St. Patrick's Day parties, greets guests by beating a drum, and accidentally shuts down an entire electrical plant.
Are you in good hands?
You're not if your auto insurer won't cover this common problem.
September 26, 2005
The world's most well-known name for a dolphin is 'Flipper'
Maybe that's because a lot of people who study dolphins have flipped.
New miracle substance is a sunblock and an insect repellant, and prevents skin infection
There's just one little problem...
September 25, 2005
When children move away to college, many parents suffer from 'Empty Nest Syndrome'
Others, however, are all too eager to empty the nest.
When the moon is in the Seventh House...and Jupiter aligns with Mars...Then peace will guide the planets...
September 24, 2005
If you like to play 'Rock, Paper, Scissors'...
...then you're going to love this.
September 23, 2005
We want to make it very clear that we're unhappy about attempts by the government to ban unlicensed minibuses
We're just not as unhappy about it as some people.
Here's a research study that has made a significant contribution, not just to its particular field, but to the general advancement of human knowledge
And if you can figure out what it is, let us know.
September 22, 2005
Remember the Dot-Com Bubble, when people invested tons of money in companies with way-out visionary ideas and no realistic business plan?
Thank goodness there aren't any of those types of companies around any more.
A lot of people believe that FEMA did a very poor job of responding to Hurricane Katrina
Perhaps the agency should stick to writing rap music.
September 21, 2005
UFOs are, like, so totally last century
Here is how the way-coolest extraterrestrials are getting around these days.
There are lots of explanations going around for why Americans are increasingly overweight
But we like this one the best.
September 20, 2005
A lawyer has to have a very good reason to delay a court trial
But we suppose this one qualifies.
It's very frustrating when you misplace something, like your glasses or your house keys
So just imagine how bad they must feel in California.
September 19, 2005
The Home Depot: You can do it. We can help.
That also appears to be the motto at the Bepol shop in Elblag.
Tonight on Fox: World's Wildest Police Chases
We sure hope they include this one.
September 18, 2005
In the old days, small children would play with toys and dream of becoming a nurse, an astronaut, or a ballerina
September 17, 2005
Don't feel like cooking? Looking for an inexpensive, convenient catering service?
Blue suede shoes, step on, you don't
All shook up, I am, hmmmmmm.
September 16, 2005
We're pleased to announce that The Harrison Report is now an award-winning website
Or at least we're certain that it will be, as soon as we enter this contest.
You are the weakest sheep
September 15, 2005
When students first go back to school after summer vacation, they sometimes have difficulty getting used to all the new rules and restrictions
Particularly if the rules are excessively strict.
If you're not going anywhere, it doesn't matter how long it takes to get there
At least we think that's what these scientists discovered.
September 14, 2005
Are you tired of cynical political ads in which candidates distort the facts, misrepresent their opponents' views and make unrealistic promises?
Well, here's a refreshing alternative.
Historians and theologians still disagree as to what exactly was the most significant root cause of the Protestant Reformation
All things considered, though, we like this analysis the best.
September 13, 2005
What does it take for an ordinary guy to win the heart of a supermodel?
Apparently less than you might think.
The Federal Reserve Board says it's starting to see signs of increasing inflation
First there was $3-a-gallon gasoline...and now this.
September 12, 2005
Watching the U.S. Open makes us realize how extraordinarily difficult it is to play professional-level tennis
And that's just here on earth.
Labor Day has come and gone, but there's still time to schedule one more quick vacation getaway
September 11, 2005
The Olive Garden: When you're here, you're family
Just be sure to keep an eye out for that other family.
September 10, 2005
If you liked Arsenic and Old Lace...
Then you're going to love Gratuitous Violence and Crocheted Wool.
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water...
September 09, 2005
The first of the 12 steps is to admit that you have a problem that you are powerless to solve on your own
After that, the steps start to get pretty weird.
We believe that everyone on this planet has a perfect, ideal mate for them out there somewhere, no matter how unlikely it might seem
Which is why we'd like to introduce the person who created this website to the person who created this one.
September 08, 2005
It's estimated that scholars have translated Hamlet into 165 different languages
And complete fruitcakes have translated it into several more.
For all you do, this lava lamp's for you
But we urge you to enjoy it responsibly, and always in moderation.
September 07, 2005
What do you get when you combine the latest in medical diagnostic technology with a European football anthem?
You get one heck of an annoying urinal.
Coming this fall: Jurassic Park IV
From the director of Chicken Run.
September 06, 2005
And the award for the stupidest new extreme sport goes to...
Hey, dude, wanna order a pizza?
Sure. How about pepperoni and camilla?
September 05, 2005
In the U.S., The Scarlet Letter was a significant monument in the development of the country's literary tradition
In Russia, it's just a significant monument.
September 04, 2005
Macaws are beautiful, exotic, highly intelligent birds that can make wonderful pets
Some of them, though, have been known to have a slight problem with authority.
September 03, 2005
Sometimes when we read news about celebrities, we feel we don't really understand what's going on
And sometimes when we read news about celebrities, we know we don't understand what's going on.
Why don't you come and join me here on the sofa?
We could make beautiful music together.
September 02, 2005
Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident
Some people say the destination is what's important, while others say the fun is in the journey itself
As for us, we just like the motel.
September 01, 2005
Many mainstream religions are warning that 'New Age' thought, with its emphasis on crystals and fortune-telling, can be harmful
Movie attendance has been down all summer, and many analysts are saying that Hollywood no longer knows how to make films that people want to see
