October 31, 2005
It used to be that if you could afford a million-dollar home, you could live like the Beverly Hillbillies
Now, you can live like plain, old-fashioned hillbillies.
Today is the last day of October
So when you're done trick-or-treating, you'll have one last chance to celebrate this.
October 30, 2005
Want to know what San Francisco would look like in a major earthquake?
October 29, 2005
When politicians are campaigning for votes, you just can't trust them
October 28, 2005
General Motors believes the key to its financial revival is wresting concessions from labor unions on employee and retiree health care obligations
At Ford, though, company officials are taking a slightly different approach.
As the U.S. prepares to send astronauts to Mars, researchers are studying many highly complex scientific problems that could affect the plan's success
October 27, 2005
In a place called Perfect, employees enjoy catered lunches with delightful co-workers in a relaxed atmosphere of casual elegance
But we don't live anywhere near Perfect...so we have Walgreens.
Local TV news in many places has degenerated into a boring hodgepodge of fires, petty crime and trivial lifestyle features
In the Netherlands, however, the focus is on news you can use.
October 26, 2005
Winning in college football takes more than talent. It takes practice and teamwork. And it takes inner strength, grit and single-minded determination
Oh, and we guess this helps, too.
With gas prices so high, car manufacturers are suddenly scrambling to create smaller, lighter vehicles that emphasize fuel economy
Here is the one most people will be able to afford to drive next year.
October 25, 2005
Have you ever wondered why no one has produced a 'Men of the Internet' pin-up calendar?
As political debate in our society becomes more coarse and vulgar, some leaders have finally seen the need to begin raising the level of discourse
Thank goodness for the Northern Territory Parliament.
October 24, 2005
Many people think the inanity of popular music lyrics has led to a general 'dumbing down' of society
However, that's starting to change.
The Americans With Disabilities Act was designed to give disabled people in the U.S. the same opportunities in society as everyone else
But compared to other countries, the U.S. still has a long way to go.
October 23, 2005
Proponents of campaign finance reform say their chief goal is to clean up politics
And in at least one case, it appears to be working.
October 22, 2005
They shoot horses, don't they?
Yep...in fact, in Volusia County, they'll shoot just about anything.
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas
Which means that when you get home, nobody has to know about that night you snuck out and visited a high school car-wash fundraiser.
October 21, 2005
Authorities have installed license plate cameras in many toolbooths to catch motorists who drive through without paying the toll
...or, you know, do something else wrong.
When you care enough to send the very best...
...you definitely don't send this.
October 20, 2005
What do you get when you cross C-SPAN and 'American Idol'?
Just another day in the Canadian House of Commons.
Many people think Tom Cruise is a nutcase, and not all that good an actor
So post a comment and tell us if you prefer his version of 'The War of the Worlds,' or this one.
October 19, 2005
'Madden 2006' is widely considered to be the most realistic, true-to-life sports video game ever produced
Except for one little thing.
Hold the pickle, hold the lettuce; special orders don't upset us
And apparently not much else does, either.
October 18, 2005
Here's another method for keeping squirrels out of your birdfeeder
Get them interested in something else.
We've heard of a slow news day...
October 17, 2005
Women's beach volleyball, played in bikinis, turned out to be a very popular sport at the 2004 Olympics
So here is what the International Olympic Committee is planning for 2008.
Ever wonder why so many of the greatest metaphysical philosophers are German?
Perhaps it has something to do with the food.
October 16, 2005
Good authors, too, who once knew better words/Now only use four-letter words/Writing prose...
And they're not much better when they're talking to schoolchildren, apparently.
October 15, 2005
Some people will go to any length to avoid a bad hair day
We can understand why Gauguin wanted to leave civilization behind and move to the South Seas...
...where the people are beautiful, the weather is perfect, and even the burglars are just trying to make themselves more buff.
October 14, 2005
Badr! Bring your daddy Omar some more kahk and barbequed Egyptian beef sausages! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Gutenberg fundamentally changed Western society by printing the Bible, thus making it accessible to people in a form with which they were familiar
And in our own day, we now have a similar achievement.
October 13, 2005
The average tuition, room and board at a New York public university is rising rapidly and now exceeds $11,000 a year
On the other hand, students are receiving tremendously valuable educational experiences they just couldn't get any other way.
How can you be in two places at once when you're not anywhere at all?
Well, it helps a lot if you're a Type IV extraterrestrial.
October 12, 2005
Alert: Biosecurity experts are dealing with a devastating emergency in New Zealand
We can only hope it's not too late.
When we pass away, we hope to leave to our heirs a concrete expression of the things we most valued in life
October 11, 2005
As the calendar moves toward Thanksgiving and Christmas, many Christians are seeking ways to deepen their own faith by spreading the Gospel message
Here's an excellent suggestion from the Church of England.
You might think that art collectors and gallery owners live in a refined world marked by erudite discussions of the finer points of connoisseurship
October 10, 2005
There are millions of websites out there, and we appreciate the fact that you chose to visit The Harrison Report instead of all the others
October 09, 2005
The truth is that dolphins really are a highly intelligent species
It's just that human researchers make them do such stupid things.
October 08, 2005
Many people believe that San Francisco politicians are outside of the mainstream
But they might not realize just how far outside of the mainstream.
A beauty pageant's runner-up is very important, because she will assume the title if for some reason the winner is unable to fulfill her duties
The winner, for instance, might be granted parole.
October 07, 2005
A new study suggests that many Americans spend up to five hours a day playing videogames
We didn't quite believe it...until we saw this.
Are you concerned about the threat posed by avian flu? Do you want more detailed information?
Then we suggest you speak to someone wearing these.
October 06, 2005
You can't always judge a book by its cover
And the same, apparently, is true of DVDs.
Many people would like to know more about Harriet Miers' background before deciding whether they support her nomination to the Supreme Court
For instance, we'd like to know whether she belongs to any prestigious bar associations.
October 05, 2005
When we were in grade school, police officers came and warned us about the dangers of drugs
In retrospect, it might have been more effective if they had just shown us this.
If life hands you lemons...
...it probably means you had serious road rage somewhere in Szabolcs-Szatmar-Bereg.
October 04, 2005
Samuel Beckett won the 1969 Nobel Prize for Literature for his extraordinary postmodernist novels and dramatic works
But like many authors, he spent time in his youth supporting himself by writing the local newspaper's police log.
Eye of newt, and toe of frog, wool of bat, and tongue of dog, like a hell-broth boil and bubble...
...and make this broomstick tax-deductible!
October 03, 2005
Important health alert for anyone traveling to Malta
Beware of a serious, life-threatening danger that is far more prevalent there than in any other country.
Would you like to know who the person is who comes up with all those names for hurricanes, tropical storms, etc.?
October 02, 2005
A lot of people don't like it when their in-laws come for an extended visit
But few of them go to this extreme.
Ever wonder where all those coathangers piling up in the back of your closet came from?
October 01, 2005
There's nothing more trite than having a book of fine art prints on your coffee table
Which is why we have this instead.
