January 31, 2006
Waterbeds for Cows Are Revolutionizing Dairy Farming
Beds Reduce Bovine Stress; 250,000 Sold in Last DecadeClick here
$1 Million Worth of Whale Vomit Washes Up on Australian Beach
January 30, 2006
Humuhumunukunukuapuaa
No Longer Hawaii's Official State Fish
Unpronounceable Aquatic Champ Now Faces Tough Re-Election Battle Against Oopu, UluaClick here
Suntan Lotion Causes Fish to Swap Genders
Italian Prime Minister Promises Not to Have Sex Before Next Election
Librarians Furious About New Librarian Action Figure
'We're So Not Like That Anymore,' They Say of Frumpy Toy With Amazing Push-Button Shushing Action*******************
Click here
January 29, 2006
Cambridge, Mass. Firm Seeks Director of Gastrointestinal Marketing
Mayoral Candidate Shouts Profanities, Claims to Be Patrick Kennedy, Assaults Police Officers
SPCA Recommends Killing Toads by Smearing Them With Hemorrhoid Cream, Then Freezing Them
January 28, 2006
Model Sues Spamalot Producers for Making Her Look 'Undignified'
Botswana Native Says She Suffered Great Anxiety From Appearance Next to Vicious Bunny RabbitClick here
Basketball Coach Given Technical Foul for Collapsing From Heart Condition
January 27, 2006
Hotel Criticized for Booking Middle School Soccer Teams With Naked Swingers' Party
January 26, 2006
University of Florida Requires Employees to Swear They're Having Sex
Domestic Partner Benefits Conditioned on Affidavit About Past 12 Months' Love Life*******************
Click here
School Uses Liquid Propane Cannon to Keep Crows Away
January 25, 2006
Serial Killer Sued for Sex Discrimination
Mooning Legalized in Maryland
Court Rules Neighbors Have a Right to Expose Themselves During Homeowners' Association Dispute
Click here
Click here
Chinese Buy Rights to the Hula Hoop
Thailand Prime Minister Launches Own Reality Show
* On 'Back Stage Show: Prime Minister,' He's Given Five Days to Eradicate Rural Poverty* He Promises, 'I Will Analyze All Problems and Solve Them'
Click here
Senator Fined $170 for Divorcing His Wife Via Text Message
"Cases such as this are happening often these days," a prosecutor told the court. Click here
January 24, 2006
Uzbekistan Bans Fur-Lined Boxer Shorts
January 23, 2006
British M.P. Performs Interpretive Dance With Transvestite Singer
* Battling Dennis Rodman in TV Contest, Politician Strives to Convey 'Emotions of Bewilderment'* Petition Urges Him to Focus More on Representing His Constituents
Click here
Bob Geldof's Daughter, Peaches Honeyblossom Michelle Charlotte Angel Vanessa Geldof, Urges Celebrities to Stop Giving Their Kids Stupid Names
January 22, 2006
Woman Killed by Falling Banana
Slovenian Immigrant Had Survived Nazi, Communist Regimes; Was Vocal Opponent of Mislabeled Sausage
Click here
Click here
January 21, 2006
IRS Sends Seattle Couple 24,000 Copies of Wrong Booklet
Nurses Having Orgy in Pediatric Ward Is 'Unacceptable,' Professional Group Decides
Lumberjack Claims Kidney Transplant Made Him Effeminate
In Lawsuit Against Health Authority, He Alleges He's Given Up Alcohol and Now Finds Housework 'Relaxing and Fulfilling'Click here
Thieves Steal $2,700 Toilet Seat
January 20, 2006
Woman Gets £200 Million Electric Bill
'It Was a Small Error on Our Side,' Utility Admits******************
Click here
Chicken Learns to Play the Xylophone
Canadian Medical Association Study Endorses Giving Homeless People Free Booze 16 Times a Day
Alaska Governor Quoting Napoleon Dynamite to Describe State's Future
Cleveland Named One of the World's Seven Most Intelligent Communities
January 19, 2006
Miami Heat Announce Plans to Hire Sumo Wrestlers
Bangladesh Protest Rally Shows Support for Osama bin Laden, Bert From Sesame Street
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Click here
City Debates Using Closed-Circuit Cameras to Monitor Dog Poop
January 18, 2006
Hilton Head Woman Arrested for Attacking Neighbors' Houses With Golf Balls, Honey, Silly String
Toys Shaped Like Fruit Banned in Bulgaria
January 17, 2006
Rock Group KISS Plans to Open Coffeehouse in Myrtle Beach
Developer Says Project Will Appeal to the 'Middle America' MarketClick here
Vancouver Police Warn Residents Not to Play With Loaded Guns While Going to the Bathroom
January 16, 2006
Scientists Drill World's Smallest Hole
The new hole is even smaller than the previous world's smallest hole. Click here
Canadian Physicians Pioneer Use of Super Soakers to Cure Ear Wax
In Journal Article, They Claim Off-Label Use Has Significant Advantages Over Standard Syringing InstrumentsClick here
India Using Microchips to Track Garbage-Eating Cows
January 15, 2006
Glow-in-the-Dark Pigs Created in Taiwan
Researchers say the breakthrough could pave the way for the development of glow-in-the-dark beer and hair mousse. Click here
50 Live Bullets Found in Public Toilet
"Deputy police chief Abang Abdillah Abang Othman has even gone so far as to speculate that the person responsible may have had a drink too many." Click here
January 14, 2006
Satanic Dark Priest to Run for Governor of Minnesota
NASCAR-Licensed Vampire With Doctorate Praises State's 'Fresh Air' and 'Friendly People'Click here
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January 13, 2006
Naked Schoolteacher, Claiming to Be Jesus, Attacks Police With Toy Trumpet
"I don't think it affects his ability to be a French teacher and it wasn't school-related, so we're hoping we can get him back to work," his attorney says. Click here
Parents Upset Over Death-Related Themes in New Elmo Potty-Training Book
January 12, 2006
Benihana Chef Tosses Shrimp to Customer; Family Sues for $10 Million
Fetus Doesn't Count for HOV Lane, Judge Rules
A contrary decision "would require officers to carry guns, radios and pregnancy testers, and I don't think we want to go there." Click hereJanuary 11, 2006
U.S. Military Launches 'Operation Dynamic Weasel'
January 10, 2006
Researchers Discover People Who Are Hostile When Driving Also Tend to Be Hostile When Not Driving
The groundbreaking study at the University of Minnesota also concludes that if more people used mass transit, there would be less traffic congestion. Click hereCity Agencies Still Bickering Over Who Has Jurisdiction Over Escaped Elephants
Russians Paying €500,000 Each for Statues of Wealthy Businessmen With Six Testicles
January 09, 2006
Devo to Issue Children's CD on Disney Label
The project is expected to include a kids' version of the band's classic hit "Whip It." Click here
January 08, 2006
Kansas Mayor Proclaims 'International Dadaism Month'
* 'Month' Consists of 13 Nonconsecutive Days Chosen at Random
* "Sounds Like a Waste of Time to Me," Says Local Construction Worker
Click here
* "Sounds Like a Waste of Time to Me," Says Local Construction Worker
Click here
January 07, 2006
Serial Toilet Thief on the Loose in North Carolina
Deputy Police Chief David Shipp admits, "We're a little puzzled by this." Click here
Fire Department Refuses to Rescue Cat in Tree, Citing 'Liability Issues'
Reporter Joe Kelley of WECT-TV6 filed this story on the controversy, but apparently also declined to retrieve the cat.
January 06, 2006
Elderly Men Arrested for Selling High-Tech Goods Online and Shipping People Potatoes Instead
However, they were high-quality potatoes, a police spokesman admits. Click here
California City Changes Street Addresses to Improve Its Feng Shui
January 05, 2006
Desperate Singles Are Buying Wallpaper That Makes It Look Like Someone Else Lives There
They're also buying CDs featuring imaginary people vacuuming and going to the bathroom. Click here
Construction Company in Trouble After New School Building Is Eaten by Geese
Mayor asserts, "I don't blame the birds...It's the builders' fault." Click here
January 04, 2006
U.S. Issues 120 Pages of Regulations for Passengers in Rocketships
Man Having Sex With Horse Named 'Top Story of 2005' in The Seattle Times
It's "the most widely read material this paper has published in its 109-year history." Click here
Roto-Rooter Company Releases Annual List of Most Interesting Toilet Blockages
Weapons, drugs and liquor are the chief culprits. Click here
January 03, 2006
Report: Justice Scalia 19 Times Funnier Than Justice Ginsburg
Vermont Town to Designate 50-Acre Area Where People Can Dump Dead Bodies
Similar sites are also being considered in California, Ohio and Wisconsin. Click here
January 02, 2006
Man Goes to Work Unaware That His Girlfriend Shot Him in the Forehead
Doctors later discover a bullet lodged in his brain. Click here
January 01, 2006
Soccer Team Offers to Trade Goalie for Gas Pipeline
Team Previously Traded Player for Half a Pig and Two Sets of GoalpostsClick here
