The Harrison Report
Live, up-to-the-minute coverage of the existential absurdity of human life.
December 27, 2006
Federal Judge Approves Constitutional Right to Make Movie About Evil Teddy Bear
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posted by The Harrison Report @ Wednesday, December 27, 2006
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BREAKING NEWS
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Scientists use advanced mathematical modeling to create virtual buttocks
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Thieves steal 70 washing machines
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Experienced Japanese women question scientists' findings on penis size
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Grandmother Holds Four Contractors Hostage So Her Kitchen Will Be Remodeled on Time
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CRIME
Thieves Steal $50,000 Worth of Broccoli
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GAMES
Critics Complain That Trivial Pursuit Has Become Too Trivial
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SPORTS
Vatican Mulls Competing in International Soccer
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COUTURE
Fashion Retailer Specializes in Clothing for Nudists
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CRIME
Police Accuse Suspect of Serial Attacks on 12-Foot Inflatable Snowman
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FOOTBALL
Detroit Lions Coach Suspended for Driving Naked
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