December 31, 2006
December 30, 2006
Eight Million Australians Infected With Parasite That Makes Men Stupid and Turns Women Into Sex Kittens
Germans Baffled by Outbreak of Exploding Toad Syndrome
December 29, 2006
68 Pieces of Luggage Belonging to Continental Airlines Passengers Re-Routed to Pet Store Dumpster
Click hereDecember 28, 2006
SPECIAL REPORT
Cops, Paramedics Increasingly Frustrated by Emergency Callers Who Are Idiots
* Police Alerted to Hedgehog Stuck in Noodle Container, People Taking Too Long to Buy Cigarettes
Click here* Paramedics Called for Stubbed Toe, Itchy Wrist, Help With Making Dinner
Click here* Ambulances Summoned by Woman Who Broke Fingernail, Man Who Dreamed He Was Unconscious, TV Owner Who Had Trouble Changing Channel
Click hereDecember 27, 2006
Sub-Orbital Rocket Containing Cremated Rabbit, Poetry, Hair Samples Fails to Make Contact With Aliens
December 24, 2006
The Harrison Report Santa Claus Update
* Armed Santas Rob Cell Phone Store in Mall
Click here* Santa Triggers Arrest of Naked Truck Driver
Click here* Gang of 100 Drunk Santas Cause Mayhem in Shopping Center
Click here* Santa Pronounced Dead at Christmas Party
Click here# posted by The Harrison Report @ Sunday, December 24, 2006 
December 23, 2006
Mass Naked Run to Protest Excessive Packaging of Grain-Based Alcohol Cancelled by Chinese Governmment
Seven Injured by Monks With Crowbars, Sledgehammers
December 22, 2006
Florida Woman Charged in Hit-Hit-Hit-Hit-Hit-and-Run Accident
December 21, 2006
Man Awarded £3.1 Million Because Accident at Work Increased His Libido
California Highway Buried Under 50,000 Pounds of Hostess Twinkies
Click here# posted by The Harrison Report @ Thursday, December 21, 2006
December 20, 2006
CNET Interview With Virtual Real-Estate Magnate Repeatedly Sabotaged by Animated Flying Penises
Click hereWisconsin Teen Faces $100,000 Fine, 25 Years in Prison for Stealing Bag of Potato Chips
December 19, 2006
Tennessee Titans' Raccoon Mascot Sued for $20 Million for Hitting Opposing Quarterback With Golf Cart
Click hereSmall Plane Nosedives Into Enormous Tank of Raw Sewage
Identity of Plane, Passengers Still Unknown Because No One Wants to Dive Into Tank to InvestigateClick here
December 18, 2006
December 17, 2006
Only Two People Who Live in Remote Village No Longer on Speaking Terms
December 16, 2006
Insurance Industry Study Finds Libras Are the Worst Drivers
Man Sues Arm & Hammer for $425 Million for Failing to Warn That Using Baking Soda to Make Crack Cocaine Could Lead to Being Thrown in Jail
Click hereResearchers Say Condoms Are Key in Getting Frogs to Attack Robots
December 15, 2006
German Government Debates Making It Illegal to Harm Characters in Videogames
December 14, 2006
Controversy Erupts Over Plan to Bury Billy Graham in Fake Barn With Mechanical Talking Cow
Click hereGroup Opposed to Ferris Wheel Says It Would Harm Rhinoceroses' Sex Life
December 13, 2006
Maine Compost School Sponsors National Carcass Disposal Symposium
Scientists Train Robots to Hang Out in Bars
Electronic Gadgets Become Adept at Mixing Drinks, Smoking, Picking Each Other UpClick here
December 12, 2006
Family Puts Up Christmas Tree, SUV Crashes Through Wall and Lands on Top of It
South Korean Phone Company Renames Its Bills 'Wonderful Letters'
Tiny Town Requires 'Risk Assessment' of Christmas Party
Residents Ordered to Serve Lukewarm Hot Chocolate, Keep Guests 'Safe Distance' From Band, Display Warning Posters About Mince PieClick here
December 11, 2006
Scottish Government to Give Contraceptives to Squirrels
Nine People Get Food Poisoning at Food Safety Seminar
December 10, 2006
Swedish Police Station That Accidentally Ordered Way Too Much Toilet Paper 20 Years Ago Finally Uses It All Up
City Demands Trash Collectors Stop Wearing Santa Hats Because They Don't Look Professional
Click hereDecember 09, 2006
Scientists Invent Robotic Salmon That Spy on Real Salmon
Fat Removed During Liposuction Yields 10,000 Liters of Diesel Fuel a Week
Obesity Now Considered America's Renewable Energy SourceClick here
Court Overturns Tax on Watching Strippers
December 08, 2006
Missing Eight-Year-Old Girl Found Shopping at Wal-Mart
December 07, 2006
Urban Birds Develop Ability to Rap
U.S. Senator Brokers Deal in Which Restaurant Gives Dead Bird to Federal Agency, Agency Gives It to Museum, and Museum Gives It Back to Restaurant
Click hereDispute Resolution Meeting Ends With 200 People Attacking One Another With Axes, Swords, Spears
December 06, 2006
Boy, 12, Arrested for Opening Christmas Present Early
Police Say Spraying 10,000 Liters of Water on Highways to Release Spirits of the Dead 'Was Very Successful'
December 05, 2006
Flatulence Forces American Airlines Jet to Make Emergency Landing
December 04, 2006
Italian Senators Ask Atheists to Boycott Swedish Furniture Store Because It Doesn't Sell Crèches
Online Dating for Giraffes Proves Popular
December 03, 2006
Two-Thirds of Britons Think Arrabiata Is a Sexual Disease
Police Officer Loses His Trousers While Arresting Giant Emu
Hockey Team Gives Free Roll of Toilet Paper to First 2,000 Attendees
Thousands of Bags of Potato Chips Wash Up on North Carolina Beach
Fisherman Reports, 'I Got Two Stripers and 35 Bags of Doritos'Click here
December 02, 2006
Amazon Recommends Buying Apple Computer's New Online Service Together With 12 Jars of Yeast Extract
Christie's to Auction Britney Spears' Junior High School Homework
Exploding Dog Robot Murder Case Takes Odd Turn
December 01, 2006
Home Improvement Store Accidentally Broadcasts Obscene Song About Jeffrey Dahmer as Part of Holiday Medley
Click hereWoman Files Class-Action Lawsuit Claiming Kraft Guacamole Dip 'Just Didn't Taste Avocadoey'
